Swine Flu in Matehuala

30 Apr

Search engines have found me thanks to some pigs with a sore throat. I’ve had numerous hits from people searching for swine flu in Matehuala, in English. I’m going to assume some of these people know at least one member of my family in real life as you can count the number of non Mexicans in Matehuala on one hand, excluding thumbs. To date there have been no recorded incidents of swine flu in Matehuala.  Also for the record, my Dad is in Mexico at the moment and as far as we are aware this virus isn’t quite intelligent enough to personally target us over several thousand miles of Atlantic Ocean just because we’re related.


There’s nothing like the threat of a global pandemic to bring out the best in people. Honestly, how would other countries fare, compared to Mexico, if their government was to impose the same restrictions on movement and gathering? No large meetingss, restaurants and bars closed, public buildings and schools closed? In Mexico they seem to just be getting on with doing what the government asks without much resistance, despite the fact that it must be a huge financial burden and cannot be sustained.

In Britain we’d whine and moan at anyone who would listen. Mainly at the lack of state provided free childcare should the schools close. Private businesses would demand financial recompense “The government have to DO something!” before agreeing to shut up shop. And I can just imagine the outcry should they try to hold a top level premiership game behind closed doors… from the money grabbing clubs of course. We’re already working on a vaccine which we will no doubt sell to the developing world at a pornographic markup (several steps up from obscene). All the while the Daily Mail would be calling for vaccines for “British” Britons, The Tories would blame Labour and Labour would blame the SNP. Finally some Welsh pig would be identified as the source.



The Italians would head for the beach. Flippant I know but I recall an Italian explaining to my Dad why unemployment, despite being as high as in Britain, just wasn’t the same “problem” in Italy. He suggested that with sun and wine and olive groves and beaches and siestas, unemployment in Italy was simply way more bearable than unemployment in wet, dreary Britain.

So would the Ozzies, but they’d take beer.

The French would go on strike and go on a march, barricade something or other and gesticulate, wildly. I would be noisy but nothing would get broken. A bit like having your toddler’s birthday party at home.


Americans would bear arms and loot the closed shops. I love watching Hollywood movies where in the face of natural calamities the desperate and displaced all pull together for the good of the world. You know the ones, Deep Impact, Armageddon, The Day After Tomorrow. Especially after Hurricane Katrina showed us what it would really be like.

Canada would cure everyone, for free, smug as smug things winning a smugging competition.

China won’t get swine flu.

I reckon the safest place to be right now is North Korea.

Have I missed offending any nation? I take requests.


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