81/365: I never have to do this again…

28 May

…thank GAWD! (it’s just an expression)

I took the Pogster for his pre-school vaccinations today. I’m not one of those wimpy Mums who sits up half the night before worrying about whether my child will ever trust me again after I let a couple of nurses stab him in each arm. No. The only thing I sit up  half the night worrying about is the house burning down. So I told him yesterday what was going to happen, I told him he was going to get some medicine in his arm to make him strong and able to fight off bugs and I told him it would hurt for a wee bit then it would be better and we’d go to the Sweetie Shop. I’ve done this before, twice, no sweat. My older two barely flinched. My daughter didn’t even wake up during a couple of hers.

This wasn’t the same. This was awful. There was screaming and kicking and snot and “mummy don’t do it mummy don’t DO IT!” I don’t know who came out more drained, him or me. I’ve seen both my older kids in some serious situations, 7 hours of surgery, anaphylactic shock, asthma and through each crisis I remained calm, and in control. Those two are absolute model patients, they’ve never complained or refused or even cried much through their trials. I vainly put it down to my approach. I never lie to them, I’ve always explained fully what’s happening,  I wouldn’t dream of springing medical treatment on them unless it was unavoidable, and I’ve always given them, albeit guided, a choice (where I could). Today’s vaccination wasn’t a forgone conclusion until he agreed to it.

We met one of his friends outside the surgery on his way out and he shared his experience in 3 year old terms saying “it was nothing”. And in he sauntered, no problemo. Until that first needle hit his arm he was fine, then he just flipped, he slapped me, the health visitor got a couple of kicks, he managed to knock the needle out and they had to stop. I ended up having to turn him towards me and hold his face in my hands and all the time he’s screaming “Mummy don’t do it!”.  It was like being in a car crash. Everything stopped and the two of us were eye-locked, me willing him to believe it would be OK and him full of rage and confusion. I could not get out of that place quick enough.

We spent 10 minutes huddled together in the back seat of my car sobbing. He didn’t believe me. He didn’t believe it would only be a short jab then over. Done. So he fought and it turned into something much worse. Why didn’t this one believe me?

It’s 2:30 and he’s finally flopped out on the sofa.. still muttering “don”t take me to the doctor, I didn’t want to go to the doctor…” How bad do I feel?

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One Response to “81/365: I never have to do this again…”

  1. Dana~from chaos to Grace June 2, 2009 at 3:46 pm #

    awwww…poor baby! Just one of those necessary evils. I’m not one of those “sit-up-all-night-worrying” about vaccines either. I just do it and trust they’ll be alright. So far, I’ve not had the fit yet.

    Knock on wood.

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