Fairy Free Zone

30 Oct

On Saturday I will be hosting my first all-boy affair.

When my older 2 were little I used to throw them a Halloween Party. This goes back to the days when my folks lived in the US and I would spend summer holidays there filling a trunk with party goodies for Halloween the likes of this country has never seen. Now I can go to Asda.


With one of each these parties were always mixed sex affairs…. Kathryn has often invited boys and girls, but Andrew only invited boys.


This is Paul’s first Halloween Party and he is only inviting boys. And that’s fine with me.

At first I felt obliged to encourage him to include some girls, then two things struck me…

First, I never forced his siblings to invite the opposite sex so why should I force him? Why should I teach this one that he can’t pick his own friends? How absurd!

And second, boys get nothing, absolutely nothing to themselves. Boys have to share everything with girls under the guise of sexual equality and it royally irks me.

Why should my sons have to play rugby with girls? Why can’t they go to Scouts without girls? Why aren’t boys allowed to get together without girls and do “boy stuff”?

Yes I’m sure if I chose to force the issue my sons could play netball but not one of the boys I have met WANTS to play netball. They want to kick the shit out of each other over any shape ball they can get hold of, they want to charge around like idiots (boys are idiots) roaring and waving sticks at each other and call it camping. And while I have no doubt the girls who play rugby and join Scouts want exactly the same, the fact is we teach our boys NOT to play rough with girls because we HAVE to. When Andrew was younger and was presented with a girl charging towards him, gum-shielded, rugby ball tucked under her arm, there’s no way he was going to tackle her as hard as he would a boy, despite my constant urging him to knock seven shades of crap out of her like he would a boy. He would have had to go against years of me encourgaing, nay demanding, that he not thump girls.

I have no objection to girls football, or girls rugby…. start a girl’s team by all means, just don’t foist your daughters on the boys, who in all honesty cannot be boys with girls around. I know this goes against  my whole social constructionist viewpoint on gender, but I have sons and I cannot ignore the evidence running around my home, fighting over the air they breathe and farting for fun. No, Brownies they are not.

And about Brownies… I have a major objection to girls joining the Beavers/Cubs/Scouts when boys are not allowed to join the Rainbows/Brownies/Guides.  According to Guiding Scotland…

“Guiding has chosen to remain a single sex organisation. Research has shown that girls gain confidence and are more willing to have a go when in a single sex group. The Guides and Scouts do communicate though and often join up for camps or expeditions in the summer months.”

And why does the same not apply to boys for crying out loud?

I blame women. Sorry but I do. In particular that small but vocal bunch of women who only have daughters and can’t tolerate boys having something their daughters can’t have. Women with sons don’t tackle the Girl Guiding bastion of sexual discrimination on behalf of their sons because, well girls need a single sex organisation…. and, of course, boys don’t want to be Girl Guides.

I just think it’s sad we instil in our sons the very worthlessness of their own company.

No wonder men turn out the way they do when we screw them up this young!



2 Responses to “Fairy Free Zone”

  1. Neil Tasker October 30, 2009 at 7:52 am #

    What a refreshing viewpoint. My hat is off to you.

  2. Barbara October 30, 2009 at 9:57 am #

    I quite agree, and well said. Sexual equality has gone too far and it’s really not fair on the boys. I for one will not be encouraging my girl to join in boys activities. As you say, she can play rugby if she wants to but she can join a ladies club to do it.

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