So what is it you do?

11 Mar

1. I’m a <whatever>, on maternity leave at the moment

The bags and sags probably revealed that already, but, you know, there’s a career or at the very least a job title in there somewhere.

2. I’m taking a career break to raise my child(ren)

At this point it’s a positive decision involving active choice, you still nod at the career you think at this stage you are taking a temporary break from. Warm, fluffy, deluded Mummy.

3. I’m a Stay At Home Mum

Now you’ve been there a while you’re getting to know the terminology, redefining your role. You identify with the thousands of other’s in the Sisterhood of the SAHM and challenge anyone to undervalue your contribution to society.

4. Oh you know, I clean I cook!

There’s an unspoken boundary between SAHM and housewife and you hit it round about the time they are approaching school age. Negotiating the transition from jealous “ooh I wish I didn’t have to work” to silent “wtf isn’t she working yet?” is pointless, just let it happen cos you know what’s next?

5. Me? Nothing

Pub lunch anyone?

I’m between 4 and 5.

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15 Responses to “So what is it you do?”

  1. Ian March 11, 2010 at 9:24 am #

    Really, you must be very small, I can’t see you at all.

    • mrsw March 11, 2010 at 12:09 pm #

      See? I’ve disappeared completely. Dang.

  2. Becky March 11, 2010 at 9:30 am #

    just gone from part time wage slave + part time SAHM + part time self employed to mostly SAHM with a little bit of self employed – wonder how I ever had time to do the waged job šŸ˜‰

    I left the same day as a young man going off travelling. When asked by the director where I was off to I said spending time with my kids – didn’t generate the same interest as his travels!

    • mrsw March 11, 2010 at 12:13 pm #

      Yeah funny that.

      I’ve tried a few variations myself, full-time working and married, part-time working and single, full-time working and single, not working and as good as married. Each has its own merits tbh, and I’m really not sure if any of them is “better” than the rest! They are, she says diplomatically, different.

  3. Vegemitevix March 11, 2010 at 9:46 am #

    If I’m feeling exotic I tell them I’m a self-employed writer. Of course this can get tricky when they want to know what I’ve published (articles, unpublished manuscript etc). I sometimes say I work for myself…and fudge over the bit where I haven’t an income from my endeavours in this country yet (I did Down Under!)It was something of a relief to be able to say legitimately last year, the UK Border Agency has restricted me from working in this country. If I do, I get deported.

    Yeah!! Suck that! LOL!!

    • mrsw March 11, 2010 at 12:15 pm #

      Ooh that’s a good one, “I’m not allowed to work” – then leave it at that and watch them nervously back away… I must try it!

  4. Heather Davis March 11, 2010 at 10:09 am #

    My kids are all at school so I’ve officially reached 5 and god do I hate it! At least when kids were at home I had an excuse for the house being a tip. As I’ve got 4 kids I still seem to get away with the SAHM thing but of course I spend a lot of time trying to justify my existence! Good post.

    • mrsw March 11, 2010 at 12:20 pm #

      Any of them boys? If so I can justify it for you right here right now. When I flitted between working from home and working in the office in Glasgow the school could tell to the day when my work pattern changed by my son’s behaviour. When I did a bit of part-time work after having the third littlie, the school knew exactly when I was working and when I wasn’t by my son’s (then eight) behaviour. When our mornings were rushed and he didn’t come straight home to me after school his anxiety levels increased, his happiness decreased and his behaviour deteriorated.

      Oh…. nothing in that was funny at all – must try harder šŸ™‚

  5. Barbara March 11, 2010 at 11:29 am #

    Well, I’m at number 3 by the skin of my teeth. Come September, I’ll one in school and one in part time pre-school so I might just have to start doing something to justify my existence. I like the sound of that pub lunch though.

    • mrsw March 11, 2010 at 12:20 pm #

      See above – you have a boy šŸ™‚

      • Barbara March 11, 2010 at 12:22 pm #

        Thank heavens for that – I knew you’d come up with the answer šŸ™‚

  6. Marylin March 11, 2010 at 11:43 am #

    I’m between 4 and 5 too, or I will be once Zack’s at school and Max starts nursery. I like to say I’m building on my photography at the moment… makes me feel important. šŸ˜‰ hehe

    • mrsw March 11, 2010 at 12:20 pm #

      See above – you have TWO boys lol šŸ™‚

  7. Wendy March 12, 2010 at 1:13 pm #

    I’m at #4 and I really don’t care what others think (although I know some do look at me with the “WTF look”)! My husband travels alot and there would be no way for me to have a fulfilling career and still be home when my kids leave for school in the morning and get home in the afternoon. I think it is important to be home and present for kids, no matter their age. So, I say screw you to the people who are jealous and can’t figure out how we do it!!

    By the way, don’t be so hard on yourself on the weight issue…you look great!

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