The MADS: The one in which I encounter living breathing people and run away and hide

First of all let me say congratulatulations to all the MADS 2010 winners and my fellow finalists, thoroughly well deserved even if I say so myself.

And of course big kudos kicks to Sally for not only surviving to the end of it all without a stroke but for pulling a quite diverse, need I say often divisive, community together for what was a wonderful, friendly and surprisingly laid back event. If there were any hitches in the proceedings I sure as shit didn’t spot them.

Butlins, well Butlins does what it says on the tin doesn’t it? The staff are insanely friendly and helpful, the accommodation clean, spacious and well equipped and the bar prices are fucking phenomenal – £6.70 for two large glasses of wine – ya dancer! I stayed in the older Shoreline Hotel and having had a look round the brand new Ocean Hotel I think I preferred the ambience at the older one. More British seaside iykwim?

Though I do wonder what seventh level of hell spewed forth that abomination on the left?

And I must also thank Phillips/Avent for helping make it possible for me to attend – it’s a bloody long way from here to Bognor Regis and trains, planes and automobiles fair add up.

But was it easy? Fuck no. I actually found the whole experience excruciatingly difficult. Really really hard. In fact I still feel a bit nauseous thinking about it now and want nothing more than to curl up and pretend it didn’t happen. I am not a gregarious person. I am not a “get in there” girl. I never have been. Adrift in a room full of people I don’t know is my idea of hell. If I hadn’t met with the amazing Heather on the train and the lovely Vix beforehand I doubt I would have left my room. Never in a million years could I have walked into the Coffee and Cake Reception on my own, my tummy is flipping even thinking about it.  I managed to get through the evening awards ceremony by nipping out and having a cigarette every time an opportunity to talk and mix was thrown at us – me and Dawn!

Oh how happy was I to be sat at a table with Dawn! I don’t even SMOKE…. haven’t done for years apart from the odd drunken puff. I’m one of those really “lucky” people who can smoke 10 on a night out then nothing for the next 6 or 12 months, whenever the next few and far between night out is. They’re my excuse for getting the hell away from people.

I made it to the end of the ceremony then popped back to my room for a couple of paracetamol and didn’t come out til breakfast.

I don’t think anyone noticed.

And to be honest I don’t think I could do anything like this again.

I can’t small talk or shmooze. I find the very act of introducing myself to someone quite daunting. This social ineptitude is probably why I blog in the first place. I don’t pretend to be outgoing or sociable… I just moan a bit and take photos, neither of which are necessarily welcome in a room full of new people.

Before I left I had the privilege of shooting Mini & Maxi, with a camera of course. I’d like to thank Jen for giving me the opportunity for some much needed practice!

How seriously cute are these two?

Finally…. thank you to anyone who did vote for me, and a heartfelt thank you to those who didn’t, because you guys saved me from the personal horror of having to stand up in front of a room full of strangers and speak out loud.

When I finally got home after a cancelled train, a pink double-decker and a shared taxi dash with a stranger to Gatwick I felt like I’d been away for a week, not one night. It was several days before I started rummaging through bags trying to find camera bits and any spare change. Only then did I stumble on this.

And then all the pent up nerves got the better of me.

Bastard!

I’m just going to slope off into the wallpaper now if that’s OK?

Bye bye.