The Code

11 Oct

Who’d have daughters?

Well me actually – give me six of them – all attitude and confidence and in yer face. I think teenage girls are fabulous.

Probably because I loved being a teenager myself.

And I loved school.

I loved the d.r.a.m.a.

It’s so funny looking back at how much d.r.a.m.a. there was – gawd we were so sure that somebody really ought to be filming all the d.r.a.m.a. in our lives.

It’s true that through teenage eyes the world is a very exciting place – no matter how small that world is.

My daughter is constantly embroiled in the ebb and flow of friendships made and friendships lost.

She was no sooner at secondary school than she learned The Code.

I don’t know the full story and neither I should but briefly somebody told one of her best mate’s boyfriend that she fancied him cos y’know – he had a right to know. And virtually half the year group imploded!

Ah , how well I remember the concept of rights through teenage eyes – it’s just as well we grow up isn’t it? Can you imagine going through your whole life believing you are entitled to do and say as you please and to hell with the consequences, so long as your happiness is fulfilled? Cos you have the right?

No, of course not.

My then 13yo daughter and I ended up chatting about  what you could and what you shouldn’t do when you “fancy” someone. She had her own ideas and I’m proud to say she worked out The Code pretty much for herself.

It’s not a long code.

Your friend’s (wo)man is out of bounds.


She worked that out at 13.

It’s a rule that the vast majority of decent human beings will understand and agree with.

Of course people fall in and out of love all the time and infidelity is a fact of life. You can’t help who you fall for.

But your friend’s (wo)man is out of bounds.

Life isn’t all about getting what you want, when you want it, no matter who you hurt in the process. Even my teenage daughter figured that out so I have high hopes she’ll grow into an adult with a whole ton of self-respect to guide her decisions.

Anyway, The Code was applied and the girl who’d tried to nick her mate’s boyfriend was dropped like a hot thing plunged in a furnace then left to bake on the surface of Mercury for all eternity.

Because in the end ALL the 13yo girls were able to figure out The Code.

Even the one who’d broke it – well it took her 2 years but she got there eventually once she’d been on the receiving end.


Tis a wunnerful thing.


4 Responses to “The Code”

  1. TheMadHouse October 11, 2010 at 7:36 pm #

    I hated being a teenager. I didnt fit in! But I understand the code now!

  2. Marylin October 11, 2010 at 9:14 pm #

    Oh god yes I remember this well! Love this post btw… 😉

  3. Tenille October 12, 2010 at 11:20 am #

    I sometimes miss those days of revelling in drama, but these day’s I’d be much happier to do without it.

  4. Chibibi November 29, 2010 at 12:33 pm #

    wow 6 girls 🙂

    i am one of 8.. 3 of which are brothers! I on the other hand have 3 boys, no girls, I loved growing up in a large family x

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